Watching: Survivors of gas station explosion mourn tragic loss of gas

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How would we cause ...
By: Extremeineveryway. on 21 May 12, 22:51:04
How would we cause Europeans to to get? on an an american power trip? I don't follow.

sorry because i ...
By: TamaTown422. on 18 May 12, 07:54:44
sorry because i didn't now that i thought? she/he meant to spell australia

Sounds? like it
By: Drunkenirishfc. on 18 May 12, 04:31:23
Sounds? like it

*facepalm*?
By: RotHHF. on 15 May 12, 21:01:42
*facepalm*?

Coming up is our ...
By: WildManSanti. on 15 May 12, 16:54:02
Coming up is our failing education public system failing"? lol

I cracked even more ...
By: Jose T Puello. on 12 May 12, 07:06:29
I cracked even more as he raaised his voice to make this? shit sound more serious lol

i was also highly ...
By: aSASa45454. on 11 May 12, 21:55:05
i was also highly offended by this. ?

R.I.P.? GAS
By: Joeyharv. on 04 May 12, 02:22:48
R.I.P.? GAS

Haha, the cute ...
By: gagaplex. on 02 May 12, 11:00:03
Haha, the cute little burning stick figures in the graphic...?

Oh but they don't ...
By: TheBigStupidHead. on 26 Apr 12, 04:08:57
Oh but they don't even mention? the lingering Diesel fuel that was also lost... Insensitive fuelists.

Ahhhhhh lol I love ...
By: Pappi1901. on 17 Apr 12, 15:41:25
Ahhhhhh lol I love the? onion

wait? when you said ...
By: TamaTown422. on 14 Apr 12, 23:08:34
wait? when you said ausralasia is that country austria???

Omg we? lost so ...
By: zozo3646. on 14 Apr 12, 20:20:11
Omg we? lost so much gas!!!

How very tragic... ...
By: Racingirl911. on 13 Apr 12, 21:42:51
How very tragic... :~{ Tonight, after my family and I are finished eating the bean soup that Mom fixed for dinner, we will sadly form a circle, hold hands and mourn the passing of? gas.

I'mma go end some ...
By: Shuttheheckup735. on 13 Apr 12, 19:51:54
I'mma go end some alcohol's suffering over his? lost cousin :P

Not just Europeans, ...
By: Snowboarding182. on 13 Apr 12, 13:24:53
Not just Europeans, we in Australasia also? get those power trips

lool how? ...
By: localviewstv. on 13 Apr 12, 10:32:50
lool how? insensitive of me .....mybad

YOU BASTARD!!!! HOW ...
By: Shuttheheckup735. on 13 Apr 12, 02:01:21
YOU BASTARD!!!! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT GASOLINE... I mean I have an electric car... but still, GASOLINE'S FAMILY MEMBERS, CRUDE OIL, ETHANOL, AND HIS COUSIN? ALCOHOL ARE ALL GRIEVING!!! insensitive fuck...

i live like, 5 ...
By: RickyRocker821. on 13 Apr 12, 01:44:43
i live like, 5 miles from white planes,ny! and yes.? it is a real place.

Amen?
By: amur akula. on 12 Apr 12, 21:40:49
Amen?

you know your a ...
By: madmaz43. on 10 Apr 12, 11:14:54
you know your a fuckhead and i know its? fake fuckstick retard right spastic

WTF IS THIS WORLD ...
By: localviewstv. on 10 Apr 12, 10:57:08
WTF IS THIS WORLD CUMMING TO , ITS FUCKING GAS U? SUPERFICIAL FUCKING YANKS

R.I.P super plus ...
By: Tonytone181. on 09 Apr 12, 22:23:53
R.I.P super plus gasoline. Gone but? not forgotten

My god!... Send the ...
By: ArtypNk. on 07 Apr 12, 21:24:52
My god!... Send the boys to Iran. Lets replenish our vast stockpiles? of gas as we mock god who put brown people on top of our gas...

yay? "power trip" ...
By: Kristhor. on 05 Apr 12, 13:20:56
yay? "power trip" for me

Other videos by this author:

President Obama works out an agreement to have Republicans in ...
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 151 seconds

President Obama works out an agreement to have Republicans in Congress kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing. (Aired 10/25/11)

Related: the onion, comedy, satire, news, onion news network, onn, barack obama us president

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NOT ENOUGH. If ...
By: silvercruz1980. on 27 May 12, 00:05:11
NOT ENOUGH. If Obama wants to prove that he is not an African Communist Nazi Muslim, he was to allow Republicans to cut his testicles? and then be sacrifice him to appease God. That would fix the Economy for sure.

I spy with my ...
By: CruelMaple. on 26 May 12, 23:56:56
I spy with my little? eye, a retarded-ass argument in the YouTube comments section. SOMEBODY MAKE POPCORN!

i think they would ...
By: socratesjr. on 26 May 12, 16:59:15
i think they would get pretty damn large with? all that kicking and swelling...

The Republicans ...
By: Maphisto86. on 26 May 12, 02:02:40
The Republicans obviously do not support job creation. Many unemployed Americans would be able to earn real experience in? politics if they were hired as an aid to the Oval office to kick the c & c in the balls. However they would rather see an apolitical machine do the job for them. Such a lost opportunity!

Notice that I said ...
By: ChristianTarsney. on 25 May 12, 18:55:01
Notice that I said "last 4-5 years." You may be right that the invasions have done harm on balance. That's not an indictment of recent policy. And I can't figure out what you? think you mean when you say that "the taliban only gained power because of anti-US invasion sentiment"...you do realize that the Taliban *were actually in power* before the invasion, right?

The only news ...
By: DarcProjekt. on 25 May 12, 16:20:13
The only news source on politics worthy of? my time!! Thanks Onion News

But that's exactly ...
By: stygn. on 25 May 12, 16:18:11
But that's exactly how the propaganda in the US works! They plaster? the news with crappy stories about stuff that doesn't matter at ALL like all the wars, the economy going south, and stuff like that, and they HIDE the really important stuff that happens in the shadows, like Obama being kicked in the balls, which could possibly change the history of mankind!! Onion News is the ONLY source of real news in the US. The rest is just hiding the important stuff...

rock paper scissors ...
By: feelgoodbingo. on 25 May 12, 09:33:10
rock paper scissors,balls?

...cont the US ...
By: Finiras. on 25 May 12, 06:32:28
...cont the US response to the financial crisis was retarded... all banks got back more money than they lost, while they are the ones that caused the crisis. they got a clear message that they can keep their policies, that wrecked economies,? and just get bailed out every time while losing _nothing_.

iraq and ...
By: Finiras. on 25 May 12, 06:32:14
iraq and afghanistan? are worse off than they would've been without any US invasion. the taliban only gained power because of anti-US invasion sentiment and in Iraq a lot more innocent people were killed than saddam ever did or would've done. those wars are from start to finish, complete debacles.

When people are ...
By: KidOmniMan. on 25 May 12, 05:14:14
When people are living up to that negative stereotype it is and Americans live up to their stereotype of ignorance,? intolerance, and political incompetence all the time. It's rare to find an American that doesn't live up to this in my experience.

That's not really ...
By: ChristianTarsney. on 25 May 12, 04:19:11
That's not really true...American politics has had more than its share of silliness over the last few years, but we've still managed? to make effective policy on a lot of issues, large and small. The response to the financial crisis was fairly reasonable and at least moderately effective, policy in Iraq and Afghanistan over the last 4-5 years has been fairly solid, Dodd-Frank is not bad legislation,,,etc. So, no.

but it is clearly, ...
By: Finiras. on 25 May 12, 02:58:28
but it is clearly, illustrated by _every_ action your _representative_ government takes.?

The top comment is ...
By: TheKHUE. on 25 May 12, 01:15:46
The top comment is the? last of a VERY long chain of replies. I've never seen one that long ;)

I'm aware.? Is the ...
By: ChristianTarsney. on 24 May 12, 23:44:56
I'm aware.? Is the existence of a stereotype sufficient grounds for for attributing it to someone?

America's debt is ...
By: modelmajorpita. on 24 May 12, 17:48:12
America's debt is not at all the current problem. Politicians need to stop focusing on the debt and work on restoring our economy and creating jobs. Debt reduction will hurt the economy and cost jobs. Look? at Spain, which had been better off than America before they tried austerity and Obama got a small stimulus bill passed. Now we're doing better than they are. Austerity makes economic crises worse.

Apparently even ins ...
By: Parralyzed. on 24 May 12, 16:42:54
Apparently even ins socialist Sweden there are retarded right-wing? rednecks...

I hate to? break it ...
By: KidOmniMan. on 24 May 12, 16:01:54
I hate to? break it to you but one of the stereotypes of Americans is idiocy and small-mindedness.

You think Onion, ...
By: AmericanNohbuddy. on 24 May 12, 11:58:44
You think Onion, that is on the Independent Film Channel, can afford HD cameras? Why do you care so much that it's 360p? It has no effect on the damn video aside? from you not being able to see their pours.

Yeah, but there is ...
By: AstralBanana. on 24 May 12, 11:55:27
Yeah, but there is no reason to have 360p in 2012, especially when their camera is most likely a lot? better than that.

i wanted to see ...
By: FFAFROCK93. on 24 May 12, 10:24:07
i wanted to see them kicked in the balls !?

This comment ...
By: USkicksass. on 24 May 12, 07:00:59
This comment section has a disturbing lack of discussion about? Obama's balls...

i love how hes got ...
By: TheDravon. on 24 May 12, 06:55:13
i love how hes got shitloads more? likes than you :)

I suggest everyone ...
By: MyTemporaryAccount88. on 24 May 12, 06:43:41
I suggest everyone here who's seeing the clusterfuck-"discussion" check out Sweden on Wikipedia, see how many of the years? were social democratic rule, look at Swedens rank in education etc, then look at where we are now vs 10 years ago. Sweden was a really good example of social democracy, and the past decade has shown what happens when you veer a bit to the right.

i love how the ...
By: animalolz. on 24 May 12, 06:05:46
i love how the onion did a piss that pissed everyone off,? even their fans. just look at literally ALL THE COMMENTS BELOW ME.

Behind The Pen: How Marriage Works
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 174 seconds

Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world's top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series.
See the cartoon, Holy Matri-Money, here: http://onion.com/J2e Gs2
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/th eonion
Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.c om/theonion

Related: the onion, comedy, satire, news, onion news network, onn, kelly

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Latest comments made on this video:

FuckingnW!?
By: eedobee. on 26 May 12, 17:45:40
FuckingnW!?

Make more of these!?
By: NuxMatrix. on 26 May 12, 01:46:53
Make more of these!?

INSIGHTFUL.?
By: moodswyng. on 25 May 12, 19:16:57
INSIGHTFUL.?

Yeah, it's? ...
By: lusteraliaszero. on 25 May 12, 16:49:03
Yeah, it's? fantastic

I seriously love ...
By: TheRadicalOneNG. on 25 May 12, 03:08:50
I seriously love this and hope more Behind? The Pen is created in the future.

410 people are ...
By: someoldcliche. on 24 May 12, 21:37:38
410 people are backstabbers?

I always? like how ...
By: Tigercat919. on 24 May 12, 18:33:07
I always? like how most of his strips feature the Statue of Liberty with a tear coming from her eye.

I'm not sure what ...
By: TheSandvichTrials. on 24 May 12, 15:14:03
I'm not sure what comment you're looking at, I clearly? stated he started. "Delusion or complete lack of knowledge of the results of any polls for the last? 6 months." - CouchPatato "oh yeah? what polls are you looking at? the ones from cbc cnbc and fox and the like that are all owned by vicom?....." - You "cite the polls you are referencing that show that paul has any chance" - CouchPatato So basically, "You don't know shit about polls" "You're just looking at the wrong polls" "Show me yours"

im not? sure what ...
By: iamLI3. on 24 May 12, 14:55:48
im not? sure what conversation you're looking at , i was never the one who started talking about polls.....

Not in the same ...
By: TheSandvichTrials. on 24 May 12, 14:43:37
Not in the same words, but you start taking him on on the polls part,? talking about how he's mistaken, which clearly means you must think you know more about it.

i claimed no such ...
By: iamLI3. on 24 May 12, 14:35:01
i claimed no such thing......?

He assumed you ...
By: TheSandvichTrials. on 24 May 12, 14:11:27
He assumed you lacked any knowledge of polls, you claim otherwise, he wants? to see which polls you get this info from. Confusing, eh?

k again , "i asked ...
By: iamLI3. on 24 May 12, 04:49:36
k again , "i asked a question , you then said "lack of knowledge of the results of any polls"? , i asked you what polls you're talking about , then you say "cite the polls you are referencing" i gave you links , you gave me some? political blog names im assuming , you still haven't even made it clear what it is you're talking about here......

stan kelly, what ...
By: thatssomething1. on 24 May 12, 03:19:46
stan kelly, what are your views on gay marriage?? cartoon pronto please!

Youtube videos that ...
By: CouchPaladin. on 24 May 12, 02:21:53
Youtube videos that aren't even trying to be subtle about their bias are not sources, link to? actual polls. I was talking about pretty much all polls, i try to keep up to date on all of the offical ones. Gallup and Politicio are two good ones, and they show pretty clearly that paul has no chance.

Ill give you that! ...
By: ProtoAlphaDog. on 23 May 12, 20:47:05
Ill give you that! Very true indeed.? And the average youtube user agrees ironically...

I only laughed when ...
By: GabinRevolution. on 23 May 12, 20:37:47
I only laughed when it ? was over because I realized it had no point.

I? wish I had this ...
By: CrapTurret94. on 23 May 12, 17:36:31
I? wish I had this guy's voice.

watch?v=APQVGfGLoYE ...
By: iamLI3. on 23 May 12, 16:34:09
watch?v=APQVGfGLoYE watch?v=zm9H1ojpIlA watch?v=hANPUKl0XpQ it's really not that hard to do a quick search on what's actually happening in the world around you :l ...... hey wait a second i just realized , the? op made a claim , i asked a question , you then said "lack of knowledge of the results of any polls" , i asked you what polls you're talking about , then you say "cite the polls you are referencing that show that paul has any chance"?? well come on buddy , where's you goods then eh?...

anyone with a mind ...
By: iamLI3. on 23 May 12, 16:29:44
anyone with a mind functioning with predictive models will realize that building 7 was a controlled demolition when they look at it , the original comment i replied to cast skepticism of the us government's involvement in that false flag attack , did you even bother reading the conversation you're replying to?.... hhmmmm i can only seem to find mention on a wiki page that jp morgan was of catholic heritage , tried some searching but im coming up dry for? this......

I know what ...
By: CouchPaladin. on 23 May 12, 15:43:51
I know what building 7 is, but you gave it no context so its essentially just random words. cite sources for the heritage of the owners of banks please cite the polls you are? referencing that show that paul has any chance

you're replying to ...
By: iamLI3. on 23 May 12, 15:33:29
you're replying to a comment about the false flag attacks that happened on septemer 11th 2001 and you don't even know what building 7 is ._. kindly stfu gtfo or go fucking educate yourself..... irrelevant reply to a relative question you mean , banks control this society , and it's to my knowledge the majority of? families that run said banks are of jewish decent oh yeah? what polls are you looking at? the ones from cbc cnbc and fox and the like that are all owned by vicom?.....

<3?
By: ikt123. on 23 May 12, 15:12:00

Is? it just me or ...
By: SarahB360. on 23 May 12, 14:39:22
Is? it just me or this a ripoff from nostalgia critic's night at the crystal palace shorts?

Random words ...
By: CouchPaladin. on 23 May 12, 14:30:25
Random words Irrelevant question Delusion or complete lack of knowledge of the results of any polls for the last 6 months. Now we know how to? comment the iamLI3 way :D

This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Challenge To God Engraved On Roof
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 177 seconds

The Onion reflects on the discovery of the first lesbian, the joyous Hindenburg explosion, and the Sears Tower's challenge to God.
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/th eonion
Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.c om/theonion

Related: the onion, comedy, satire, news, onion news network, onn, chicago, worlds first lesbian, vladimir putin

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Latest comments made on this video:

Sure...? Metaphors.
By: SamuelThomasRanger. on 26 May 12, 22:51:39
Sure...? Metaphors.

"God can stay up in ...
By: Hikarilover123. on 26 May 12, 15:53:15
"God can stay up in heaven like? a little bitch..." xD

The narrator needs ...
By: JordanClunn. on 26 May 12, 15:17:22
The narrator needs to get a pay raise. Just listen to that voice. I could fry eggs? on it.

This argument could ...
By: moearly. on 26 May 12, 15:12:31
This argument could be pretty strong if the Bible were 1) not written by men; and 2) only composed of? historical books, without books of parables. Many stories in the Bible are meant to illustrate a theological truth without being taken literally. The story of creation is one of these. (This one is especially obvious to those who have read it since it first has an story of everything being created in one particular order and then one of everything being created in the opposite order.)

Oooh now that is? ...
By: Maphisto86. on 26 May 12, 02:49:10
Oooh now that is? visionary. The entire continent could be lit up with a message to that panty waste deity.

I was thinking? ...
By: Zacharyg5. on 26 May 12, 02:47:44
I was thinking? more like synchronized power control. You know how at night you can see places in America from their lights? What if we turned that into Morse Code?

The Sears Tower ...
By: Maphisto86. on 26 May 12, 02:08:47
The Sears Tower clearly was not tall enough. God is a pussy we all know that. So maybe we should create a bigger building. You know something like a revolving staircase to heaven? As long as we use the right? tools and clear, concise language what could stop us?

FLYING? SPAGHETTI ...
By: Mewkip. on 25 May 12, 18:37:58
FLYING? SPAGHETTI MONSTER!

Niccolo knows his ...
By: miguelin97223. on 25 May 12, 18:15:18
Niccolo knows his shit?

You got to wonder ...
By: rizzlecorn. on 25 May 12, 16:26:52
You got to wonder if The Onion's writer's do this? kind of thing on purpose, just so they can come here and masturbate to the comments section.

But if you look in ...
By: SamuelThomasRanger. on 25 May 12, 16:01:11
But if you look in the bible, god was never really the subtle type, he was allways? making grand happenings and displayed himself for the world to see. I am just saying that ever since we have been able to monitor these things, no display of godly interventions has ever been recorded, or there would be no debate. Let's face it, either god isnt caring about us anymore, or he simply never was.

That claim I do not ...
By: moearly. on 25 May 12, 15:57:51
That claim I do not agree with. God often works in subtle ways in everyone's lives, and miracles have occurred. Also, God did not specify the time of the second coming, but one wouldn't expect anything more things to happen on a grand scale? (which I think is what you meant) until then since Jesus already came.

The fact still ...
By: SamuelThomasRanger. on 25 May 12, 12:36:36
The fact still remains that god has? not done anything for the last 2000 years, so why fear him now?

Annnnd we're still ...
By: SteakMeister20000. on 25 May 12, 02:53:25
Annnnd we're still here. You, God sir, are a? little bitch.

Yeah, like? never ...
By: MrOmniblast. on 25 May 12, 00:25:02
Yeah, like? never lol

I"M EATING WONTON! ...
By: SageZane560. on 24 May 12, 22:47:14
I"M EATING WONTON! TAKE IT IF YOU CAN GOD I BET YOUR GUNNA SIT UP THERE LIKE A LITTLE? BITCH, MOTHER FUCKER.

I don't know what ...
By: moearly. on 24 May 12, 22:29:22
I don't know what you mean by "claims," perhaps since I consider everything you said to be obvious fact. If you want to hear what I think of these things that have happened, I do have replies if you're curious to hear those. The prophets foretold the coming of Jesus; since Jesus already came, no new prophets would be relevant. Angels never wrote any books of the Bible; men did under the influence of the Holy Spirit. The rapture predictions were? made by Protestants who were misguiding people.

Well, he's not ...
By: SamuelThomasRanger. on 24 May 12, 22:09:54
Well, he's not bothered showing up for the last two thousaind years or so, no new prophets or miracles, not even sending down one of his angels to bring us any new books, except for that mormon guy.? Not to mention that we have been promised fifteen raptures in these past few decates. I'll start fearing god when my pagan ways of living is punished like he used to do in the ol' bible. But I am genuinely curious, do you have any answer to these claims?

God doesn't answer ...
By: moearly. on 24 May 12, 21:47:12
God doesn't answer to our every challenge; He makes Himself known in the ways He? chooses.

According to? the ...
By: SamuelThomasRanger. on 24 May 12, 20:46:33
According to? the holy bibel it would work like that. Please tell me how your god is different from the same one worshipped from hundreds and thousainds of years ago, depending if you put your faith in the new or the old testament.

not how? it works...
By: moearly. on 24 May 12, 18:40:25
not how? it works...

Oh,? the luminosity!
By: Tigercat919. on 24 May 12, 18:34:22
Oh,? the luminosity!

The sears tower is ...
By: Turbine68. on 24 May 12, 17:44:33
The sears tower is like fuck you god the tower of? babel got nothing on me.

lol there is no ...
By: ampthilluk. on 24 May 12, 15:44:51
lol there is no such thing? as god

indeed, all groups ...
By: Ichigo9913. on 24 May 12, 15:09:07
indeed, all groups have retards. mostly because the world is filled with retards (and i don't mean the mentally disabled.) besides, preaching against religion would be anti-theism, wouldn't it? i'd go in deeper, but i'm in the comments section of an? Onion News Network video. it wouldn't make much sense.

Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 148 seconds

This week the Romney campaign introduced "Paco", a taco-loving cartoon parrot, in hopes of appealing to Latino voters.
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/th eonion
Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.c om/theonion

Related: the onion, comedy, satire, news, onion news network, onn, presidential election 2012, mitt romney

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Latest comments made on this video:

What makes it even ...
By: KarlaTheMichelle. on 26 May 12, 23:23:24
What makes it even better is the? grammatically incorrect Spanish. TheOnion, you did it again!

I love how on the ...
By: notoriousm. on 26 May 12, 19:57:21
I love how on the presidential candidate videos the Onion always has a little bit about how cool Joe Biden? is

pinatas? ...
By: Regginyaga. on 26 May 12, 04:30:17
pinatas? chimichangas and landscaping

Paco for president!?
By: caboosefanatic. on 26 May 12, 03:24:27
Paco for president!?

I? am Hispanic and ...
By: AsianManGV3. on 25 May 12, 15:56:22
I? am Hispanic and that fucking parrot.........just won him the election

Yes, they do.?
By: Iamagorilla. on 24 May 12, 15:18:19
Yes, they do.?

This is offensive.? ...
By: Jonassoe. on 24 May 12, 11:41:59
This is offensive.? Deliciously offensive.

They can be pretty ...
By: kemp10. on 23 May 12, 17:24:12
They can be pretty hit-or-miss...but overall,? yes.

Is it sad that they ...
By: FreelanceProgrammer. on 23 May 12, 14:16:32
Is it sad that they were able to straight rip a Mitt Romney Video Segment instead? of having to create their own?

yes. I found? out ...
By: exra82. on 23 May 12, 14:12:01
yes. I found? out about them recently

1:34? :))
By: OlauspetriGoomba. on 23 May 12, 07:41:54
1:34? :))

Do? people still ...
By: doritisfat. on 23 May 12, 05:39:24
Do? people still find The Onion funny?

Part of me wishes? ...
By: RedSHARK6. on 22 May 12, 09:55:43
Part of me wishes? cartoon characters were valid political weapons.

He corrected ...
By: velcroboy60000. on 22 May 12, 04:54:45
He corrected himself. He said, "*milf. I was wanking? too much." :/

mother i would? ...
By: InsanePickle007. on 22 May 12, 03:14:06
mother i would? like to kill?

Romney is rasist?
By: Darkshooter109. on 22 May 12, 00:51:09
Romney is rasist?

Mitt Romney is 1/ ...
By: davitodude. on 21 May 12, 23:17:58
Mitt Romney is 1/16th Spanish, so why on earth would he need Paco? to connect with Hispanic voters?

News ticker on the ...
By: dastoogeman. on 21 May 12, 23:15:29
News ticker on the bottom: "Judge: Police? must read Miranda rights before beating suspects" Definitely a new favorite from the Onion

I love how ...
By: theweedranter. on 21 May 12, 05:28:33
I love how offensive that was.?

I'm lactose ...
By: Pankrakens. on 21 May 12, 02:25:22
I'm lactose intolerant,? so I wouldn't know.

*milf i was ...
By: LeClassics. on 20 May 12, 14:36:21
*milf i was wanking too? much

female presenter is ...
By: LeClassics. on 20 May 12, 14:36:05
female presenter is a? milk, what's her name

me gusta?
By: D0oMblAsT. on 20 May 12, 06:14:16
me gusta?

I love the? onion.
By: Bowhayz. on 20 May 12, 05:46:48
I love the? onion.

o_o?
By: smithcolorado. on 20 May 12, 01:03:33
o_o?

Medium Channels The Spirits Of Old Acquaintances For Awkward Small Talk
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 186 seconds

Psychic Kenneth Quinn connects Today Now! studio guests with former landlords and friends of work friends who have died for stilted conversations from beyond.
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/th eonion
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OMG !! no wonder ...
By: TheMorriganish. on 26 May 12, 13:09:20
OMG !! no wonder there is no trust for mediums give us a break that is abysmal? what a fake!!

hihohohum!?
By: otonomi1. on 25 May 12, 06:49:36
hihohohum!?

how to lose weight ...
By: offitcock. on 24 May 12, 21:48:22
how to lose weight by constantly picking at your skin? lolololololol

"Do you know...." - ...
By: MangoEuropa. on 24 May 12, 21:33:29
"Do you know...." - "She's gone"?

1:00 Senate? ...
By: AvsJoe. on 24 May 12, 08:55:27
1:00 Senate? considering law changing spelling of "terror" to "TERROR!!!" LMAO

New? law will make ...
By: houchi69. on 22 May 12, 22:51:50
New? law will make it illegal to stab prostitutes. LOL

"...we're gonna ...
By: danielsunshinedahl. on 21 May 12, 20:39:31
"...we're gonna show you how to lose some of that excessive weight by? constantly picking at your skin." lmfao

how the fuck does ...
By: xplosivelilly. on 21 May 12, 19:33:20
how the fuck does onion think of these things?? HAHAHHAHA

i? already asked ...
By: levyxx1. on 20 May 12, 23:30:29
i? already asked yours

???????????~?????~? ...
By: elbenzorockz. on 20 May 12, 05:08:16
???????????~?????~????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????~?????~????????????????

Brilliant! ?
By: mtssvnsn. on 19 May 12, 07:32:03
Brilliant! ?

You don't say??
By: me19742. on 19 May 12, 04:27:42
You don't say??

and i? like obvious ...
By: chaveznieves. on 17 May 12, 09:42:38
and i? like obvious sarcastic responses

yes,? i seriously ...
By: Xezatt. on 17 May 12, 01:12:27
yes,? i seriously like trolling.

tis a joke bud. you ...
By: chaveznieves. on 16 May 12, 23:17:59
tis a joke bud. you take things way too seriously? around here

What happened? to ...
By: EvenEvenOdd. on 16 May 12, 21:13:54
What happened? to the old faux living room setting? It was so much better!

of course not. It's ...
By: G0parra. on 16 May 12, 20:32:35
of course not. It's even called "The Onion Newsnetwork"?

is? this real?
By: AJDanglers. on 16 May 12, 17:43:46
is? this real?

I'm watching this ...
By: Anduy. on 16 May 12, 16:51:28
I'm watching this at night and I must try so? hard to contain my laughter so I don't wake the whole family up.

No? shit Sherlock
By: thull21. on 16 May 12, 16:44:12
No? shit Sherlock

lol if you're not ...
By: Xezatt. on 16 May 12, 15:16:19
lol if you're not sure,? then you are really really stupid

that man? has ...
By: Sabohaque. on 16 May 12, 15:03:10
that man? has beautiful eyelashes

omg tracy gill ...
By: undertow1985. on 16 May 12, 14:48:05
omg tracy gill pleaaaase? marry me

not sure if? ...
By: chaveznieves. on 16 May 12, 14:11:45
not sure if? trolling....or just really really stupid

He has a? chode
By: CALLOFDUTYJTAG. on 16 May 12, 13:21:25
He has a? chode

It Easy To Tell What Area Man Will Look Like As Skeleton
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 154 seconds

An anxiety-ridden man is rightly ashamed of every single thing that he does, half a sleeve of Oreos is lost in a house fire, and a local man has had more than enough beach. It's the week of April 30th, 2012.
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And if mosquitoes ...
By: TARINunit9. on 25 May 12, 23:02:08
And if mosquitoes biting out of spite weren't enough to blow your mind today, here's another fact: only female mosquitoes bite*. Yeah. Combining those facts, we now have scientific proof that feminists are, in fact, a conglomerate of shrill harpies dedicated to ruining all fun *feminism joke? aside, the "only female mosquitoes bite" part is actually true*

The? password is " ...
By: Artifacter. on 25 May 12, 13:40:57
The? password is "eat at quiznos, jarred sent me

I hope Subway? has ...
By: otonomi1. on 25 May 12, 06:54:29
I hope Subway? has the secret password.

I? actually kind of ...
By: snipes081. on 23 May 12, 16:47:50
I? actually kind of believe the mosquito thing.

Actually, seven ...
By: heymisterderp. on 23 May 12, 15:40:43
Actually, seven cookies? were lost to the flames. Get it right, Onion.

I? have anxiety ...
By: Shuttheheckup735. on 22 May 12, 19:32:14
I? have anxiety issues. And you're a fucking pussy. I honestly do have anxiety issues though, pretty easy to live with once you get used to it.

Heeey...? I Counted ...
By: jarrodbaker45. on 22 May 12, 15:52:14
Heeey...? I Counted 7 OREOS.

what are you? ...
By: InsanePickle007. on 21 May 12, 20:59:40
what are you? talking about nigger

I want that damn ...
By: samskins. on 21 May 12, 04:18:51
I want that damn password. ?

7 cookies...yup an? ...
By: nguht. on 20 May 12, 23:38:54
7 cookies...yup an? extra cookie was lost in the blaze

Dude, just saying, ...
By: MetalSights. on 20 May 12, 17:41:05
Dude, just saying, you're a wussy. Me, my siblings, and? my friend are going to be silently judging you.

Koalas? are not ...
By: TinBryn. on 20 May 12, 13:20:06
Koalas? are not bears

Same? here...
By: BlackCerberrus. on 19 May 12, 22:09:46
Same? here...

the cookie thing ...
By: PFCelis2. on 19 May 12, 19:40:38
the cookie thing hit me pretty hard.?

Damn? Mosquitoes... ...
By: Neuceidus. on 19 May 12, 06:05:56
Damn? Mosquitoes... (gets out my bug swater)

Woah woah woah, ...
By: funkophone. on 19 May 12, 04:53:00
Woah woah woah, where the fuck is this magical kingdom where Oreos are in sleeves and? not trays?

What's an? Area Man?
By: Toml420. on 19 May 12, 00:38:14
What's an? Area Man?

There were seven ...
By: CasualGarbage. on 18 May 12, 21:28:23
There were seven oreos in that fire, not six! I demand retribution.?

"...and sadly, six ...
By: bafmd. on 18 May 12, 11:37:31
"...and sadly, six delicious chocolate sandwich cookies." But there were SEVEN cookies, not six! That makes this loss all that much more? painful.

Don't get me ...
By: SweetJ1641f. on 18 May 12, 02:21:51
Don't get me started! Did you see when he stepped off the curb and that car stopped unexpectedly to let him cross but he wasn't sure if he should? After a long pause where he stood there looking? like an idiot, that driver must have been hopping mad when he gave up and just went ahead anyway. What a loser! Everyone in the area was just cracking up and pointing fingers. I think there's going to be a small article about in the "Lifestyles" section of the newspaper tomorrow.

I know how? you ...
By: josh808m. on 18 May 12, 01:35:19
I know how? you feel.

The story about the ...
By: josh808m. on 18 May 12, 01:35:00
The story about the anxiety guy described me with scary accuracy.? No joke :(

Those poor, poor ...
By: grandeTO9. on 17 May 12, 05:28:47
Those poor, poor oreos. May God have mercy on their tasty souls and digest their delicious oreo souls in heaven. Amen.?

he pronounced ...
By: Mr38Gumball. on 17 May 12, 00:58:14
he pronounced Newark, DE wrong!!? ...not good onion

"I'm going to tell ...
By: CorporalActivist. on 16 May 12, 19:07:11
"I'm going to tell others about it and we'll have a good laugh at how pathetic you are". holy shit that's actually pretty sad, you? two are on par in terms of worthlessness.

Biden Unveils New Health Initiative To Make U.S. Women Hotter
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 70 seconds

Inspired by the First Lady's health plan for children, Vice President Joe Biden has pledged to make every American woman beach-ready. (Aired 10/18/11)
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
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Related: the onion, comedy, satire, news, onion news network, onn, joe biden us vice president

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Latest comments made on this video:

The so should have? ...
By: goose1077. on 23 May 12, 16:27:24
The so should have? done the song

homophobia...? you ...
By: Hallo Meine Freunden. on 19 May 12, 11:36:02
homophobia...? you are cool now... *rolls eyes*

So the Onion's Joe ...
By: clemsonman0503. on 18 May 12, 22:01:45
So the Onion's Joe Biden character is basically Robert California on? The Office?

Now that's a plan i ...
By: ryantheking12. on 17 May 12, 03:11:21
Now that's a plan i can get behind. (or? in front of. XD)

Just get rid of mc ...
By: 8deathknight. on 15 May 12, 22:56:35
Just get rid of mc Donalds and America gonna? be okay

by dancing to the? ...
By: mymain4u. on 15 May 12, 04:05:47
by dancing to the? throbing beat

Thank god they? are ...
By: ThaGreatestAlexander. on 15 May 12, 03:46:48
Thank god they? are finally thinking clearly!

I support? this! ...
By: ITHEREONETHATHASNT. on 15 May 12, 00:00:48
I support? this! Finally politicians taking us seriously!

lmao,you actually ...
By: VGTheater. on 14 May 12, 05:54:02
lmao,you actually believe theres a difference between the republicans and democrats?they are both for bigger? government,less civil liberties,and wars.

actually this will? ...
By: watanabe757. on 12 May 12, 21:17:16
actually this will? work......

What kind of? high ...
By: Mikkimuse. on 12 May 12, 20:35:46
What kind of? high school do you go to? ._.

hahaha, I was about ...
By: dmyankees24. on 12 May 12, 18:31:30
hahaha, I was about to say the same thing. The character they make out of him is the? greatest.

Well a lot of what ...
By: garith21. on 12 May 12, 04:56:49
Well a lot of what determines how much of an appetite you have is determined before you're born, some genes, some cases in development in the womb. What you actually eat is? always a huge factor, a kid with fat genes can't get fat if they have no food availability, but you can't pretend it's a simple act of will when you're affected differently biologically in an environment where food is readily available.

Genes are ...
By: arielxgarcia1. on 12 May 12, 02:24:29
Genes are undeniably a very important part of the equation but I wouldn't say the primary factor. What you eat throughout your life has much more to do with it than most people realize. I'm simply speaking of the child's beginning level of energy consumption by the body. Which can change, given? the proper diet and exercise.

Great program? :)
By: Jose T Puello. on 12 May 12, 00:15:53
Great program? :)

19 people are about ...
By: TeamIzlude. on 11 May 12, 22:03:59
19 people are about to burn? their bras in protest.

Historically, past ...
By: BanjoThreeies. on 11 May 12, 20:58:07
Historically, past presidents have never? been able to win without the misogynist vote.

19 fat people? ...
By: METALMAN4Wii. on 11 May 12, 20:45:26
19 fat people? watched this...!

LOL loosers u n teh ...
By: Zenstudent105. on 11 May 12, 17:13:45
LOL loosers u n teh 4 pople that liked? lolol

It will never? pass ...
By: SIPEROTH. on 11 May 12, 16:48:58
It will never? pass, fast food joins will lobby against it.

I'm a republican ...
By: MrBrilliantChaos. on 11 May 12, 13:51:58
I'm a republican and i approve.?

...welli guess it? ...
By: TheYouwontgetit. on 11 May 12, 08:04:30
...welli guess it? would make the rape more enjoyable... ...for me...

YOU SHALL NOT? PASS.
By: ipwnallnubscuzirock. on 11 May 12, 04:25:49
YOU SHALL NOT? PASS.

Yes, I'm in third ...
By: amberview30. on 11 May 12, 03:56:32
Yes, I'm in third grade; I just learned about? run on sentences.

My sentence was not ...
By: amberview30. on 11 May 12, 03:40:45
My sentence was not a run on sentence. I rechecked it. It would have only needed a comma if I had said, "You made fun of someone's grammar, and then you wrote a run on sentence.? "Then wrote a run on sentence" is not a complete thought without the first part of the sentence. Also, you need a comma before bud. :-P

Kanye West In Feud With Nation Of Syria
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 84 seconds

In the Daily Briefing, Tucker Hope reports on Kanye West's feud with Syria and a company's decision not to bother recalling a defective hotplate. (Aired 10/18/11)
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
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Latest comments made on this video:

what part of one of ...
By: MrBarelylethal. on 21 May 12, 18:19:45
what part of one of do you? not understand...

Saddam's Iraq was ...
By: garrysmodmoviemaker1. on 20 May 12, 21:52:49
Saddam's Iraq was worse...?

Hah,? yeah cause ...
By: TheBigStupidHead. on 20 May 12, 04:55:12
Hah,? yeah cause Kanye West would sing about something sincere...

You're sarcasm is ...
By: rafamarquezfan1. on 17 May 12, 06:26:06
You're sarcasm is amazing.?

0:48 Are... Are ...
By: owner876. on 16 May 12, 21:21:12
0:48 Are... Are those? Israeli soldiers?

27 people own hot? ...
By: godlessTV. on 16 May 12, 20:33:40
27 people own hot? plates

actually syria's ...
By: kormastas. on 15 May 12, 05:59:39
actually syria's oil is? barely enough for them and probably won't last them long

SOMEBODY F**CKING ...
By: AreWeFamousNow. on 15 May 12, 04:38:53
SOMEBODY F**CKING KILL THIS GUY? ALREADY!?

Imagine if you had ...
By: OneDay Soon. on 15 May 12, 03:32:25
Imagine if you had to have your picture up, no one would say shit if they werent protected by knowing? there talking over the internet

no you faggot, im ...
By: ryanboyd72yahoo. on 15 May 12, 02:55:24
no you faggot, im not calling you gay. im calling you a faggot. which you? are. a faggot.

Take a second to ...
By: ProtocolRecords1. on 15 May 12, 00:51:13
Take a second to check out my music by just clicking on my name! :) Beware, Its REAL Hip-Hop, for only mature listeners! ?

Kanye is? awesome
By: pingoaraujo. on 14 May 12, 22:21:40
Kanye is? awesome

Hi. My name is ...
By: Mikster7500. on 14 May 12, 19:37:04
Hi. My name is Michael Fynne and I'm a Young 18 Year Old Talented Rapper? trying to make a huge name for myself. I'd really appreciate it if you would take the time to check out my music here on YouTube. Just Search: Michael Fynne - Get Down (Live Your Life) Michael Fynne - Get Ready To Go Michael Fynne - Our World Check out more?? songs on my channel. LIKE my FAN PAGE on FACEBOOK (Michael Fynne) and FOLLOW ME on TWITTER @MichaelFynne. There'll be more songs? to come. You won't regret it!

Mozart wasn't a ...
By: NickysRapAttic. on 14 May 12, 06:17:17
Mozart wasn't a substance for rap Kanye west is not a classical genius he's? a Hip Hop Genius, just plain genius

@MAXBLAYLOCK You do ...
By: EpicWinningFaceGirl. on 13 May 12, 22:03:13
@MAXBLAYLOCK You do know this? is fake... Right?

Damn... I just made ...
By: dreamingpixles. on 13 May 12, 19:48:03
Damn... I just made my dinner? on the hotplate in my residence's kitchen...

Oil production ...
By: JulianManatee. on 13 May 12, 09:19:00
Oil production slipping HUUUUUHHHHH Population tripping HUUUUUUHHHH?

Good to know that ...
By: Waidesama. on 13 May 12, 04:31:43
Good to know that Syria is on the right path. The first step to true freedom is? allowing your citizens to hate Kanye West.

ahahahahahaha LOL ?
By: MsSar01. on 12 May 12, 23:46:58
ahahahahahaha LOL ?

Kanye used the word ...
By: lazyperfectionist1. on 12 May 12, 16:23:46
Kanye used the word "cataclysm?"? LOL!

Seems Legit!?
By: raoorz. on 12 May 12, 15:54:45
Seems Legit!?

i hate this nigger ...
By: BrokenChinkGlish. on 12 May 12, 14:43:15
i hate this nigger with passion?

True story, bro.?
By: DarthComrade. on 12 May 12, 04:25:50
True story, bro.?

lol?
By: Checkingokop. on 12 May 12, 01:23:37
lol?

$Obama\$

Obama's Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 181 seconds

Voters describe recent images of Obama eating a gigantic hoagie all by himself "somehow very sad."
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
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Related: the onion, comedy, satire, news, onion news network, onn, barack obama, election 2012

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or the satire ...
By: MrMarco1212. on 27 May 12, 03:35:10
or the satire itself? is great.

THE TIME TO STRIKE ...
By: TheStimpyland. on 26 May 12, 00:16:25
THE TIME TO STRIKE IS NOW ?

Ron Paul announced ...
By: VioletVile. on 25 May 12, 22:58:57
Ron Paul announced today he would not be? competing in the upcoming primary states, saying that he would focus, instead, on his delegate strategy. A strategy that is working, by the way, and transforming the Republican Party. It is something he has said many times since the February 11, 2012 caucus in Maine. (Must taste bad, right?)

Oh god, i eat lunch ...
By: Artifacter. on 25 May 12, 13:36:36
Oh god, i eat lunch like? that everyday, just kill me now before i run for president.

Slob on the? knob ...
By: TheFirerunnerz. on 25 May 12, 07:40:47
Slob on the? knob like corn on the cob.

He didn't drop out. ...
By: exra82. on 25 May 12, 03:29:08
He didn't drop out. He doped out of campaigning?? he is trying to get the delegates instead. And I know it was a joke I was just playing along

The? word is one ...
By: mrcoryv. on 25 May 12, 03:06:14
The? word is one word, it is what is known as a "Compound Word" which means you take two words and put them together to change the timing of the words.

Ron Paul dropped ...
By: mrcoryv. on 25 May 12, 03:04:31
Ron Paul dropped out... good to know you know a lot? about our political system, and P.S The Onion is satire

He wasnt insulting ...
By: exra82. on 24 May 12, 11:14:22
He wasnt insulting America? he was insulting American news CNN fox news abc news stuff like that

What a loser? this ...
By: exra82. on 24 May 12, 11:11:51
What a loser? this is why I am voting for Ron Paul

I personally ...
By: futurestoryteller. on 24 May 12, 02:41:13
I personally figured? out it was real when China declared war. Because it wasn't quite so obvious before then.

Yes, because ...
By: manga4428. on 23 May 12, 16:09:18
Yes, because America is the? only place with idiots.

Good? job, you ...
By: KitsuneShapeShifter. on 23 May 12, 15:43:04
Good? job, you didn't make any mistakes. But you're only partially correct about ''douchebag''. ''Douche'' and ''bag'' are two separate words, however when used together it is spelled as one. Notice how your grammar has improved since this conversation started? Isn't learning fun? =)

Actually, it's not ...
By: MRmattconnell. on 23 May 12, 14:39:25
Actually, it's not all one word. So? fuck off.

Uh. You? just ...
By: zero5frostbyte. on 23 May 12, 14:19:31
Uh. You? just spelled "sentence" as "sentance". just saying...

Close one. You ...
By: KitsuneShapeShifter. on 22 May 12, 23:27:03
Close one. You forgot a space between the , and the rest of the sentance. Not just that, ''douche bag'' is actually spelled as one word: ''douchebag''. Oh, and there should have been a , between ''bag''? and ''right''. Try again.

They are making fun ...
By: AntiRacismAndHateCom. on 22 May 12, 21:26:48
They are making fun of? stupid voters There are a lot of voters who will vote over so many irrelevant things. There were people who voted for Clinton because he was "hansom."

I'm going to take a ...
By: Shuttheheckup735. on 22 May 12, 16:50:09
I'm going to take a stab at this and say the reason you presume I'm a homosexual is that you have had homosexual tendencies for a long time, and repressed them, so now you lash out at random people calling? them homosexuals or saying they do homosexual things to hide that? Don't worry, you can get help with that. Your grammar on the other hand, well you'll have to go back to at least grade 6 to relearn it all. Unless you're yet to even reach grade 6 as a child, in which case, lol.

Wait a second, I? ...
By: lifesgoodNC. on 22 May 12, 15:34:08
Wait a second, I? eat lunch alone sometimes, and I like foot-long subs, does this mean......

lmao,you realize ...
By: VGTheater. on 22 May 12, 14:12:07
lmao,you realize you are a douche? bag right?

There should be a ...
By: KitsuneShapeShifter. on 22 May 12, 13:38:17
There should be a space between the , and the rest of the sentance. It's ''retard'' not ''retart''. There should be a space between . and the rest of? the sentance. The should be a space between the other , and the rest of the sentance. There should be yet another space between the third , and the rest of the sentance that follows. I think you might be illiterate.

lmao you are a ...
By: VGTheater. on 22 May 12, 13:17:23
lmao you are a troll,who the? fck are u.go back to sucking a dick.

omg,not another ...
By: VGTheater. on 22 May 12, 13:16:04
omg,not another retart bashing people's grammar on youtube.is fucking youtube,no1 gives a shit how? it is,get a life dipshit.

You think you can? ...
By: Shuttheheckup735. on 22 May 12, 12:31:14
You think you can? block people from replying to comments? You are truly the stupidest mother fucker I've seen. Crawl back under the bridge troll.

Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 149 seconds

A troubling report finds that by 2040 every presidential candidate will be unelectable to political office due to their embarrassing Facebook posts.
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
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lol what a twat? , ...
By: popcornfilms1. on 25 May 12, 17:49:00
lol what a twat? ,not you

*you're?
By: vbotond9. on 25 May 12, 11:12:38
*you're?

You're a fucking ...
By: MrNelsonButterscotch. on 22 May 12, 23:50:14
You're a fucking idiot. Destroy your computer as to not spread any more? of your idiotic comments to anyone else.

Chughes08 is an ...
By: MrMiraculousMarcus. on 22 May 12, 00:17:41
Chughes08 is an hero.?

Jeebus!! ?
By: LizLearns. on 21 May 12, 02:38:29
Jeebus!! ?

Why does? ...
By: Inediblehulk. on 18 May 12, 03:05:33
Why does? everything on the Internet have to turn into a chatroom?

wow, talk about ...
By: Gam3rLove. on 17 May 12, 04:01:48
wow, talk about failing? extremely hard

loooool dude watch ...
By: Gam3rLove. on 17 May 12, 04:01:03
loooool dude watch the? video lolol

Romneys numbers ...
By: lomiko1. on 16 May 12, 15:43:50
Romneys numbers drop after he pulls 400.000$ in? crumpled bills from his pocket while looking for notecards. Genius!

Someone? has mommy ...
By: Mezzo396. on 16 May 12, 14:34:46
Someone? has mommy issues

well this is a? ...
By: Gouldsonuk. on 16 May 12, 09:15:09
well this is a? problem.... no-one uses 4-square.

Some of us don't ...
By: ragdrazi. on 16 May 12, 00:59:51
Some of us don't use Facebook. I know. It's? true. You don't have to use it.

your approval ...
By: Cdubzhappy. on 15 May 12, 15:18:50
your approval rating dropped quite? rapidly.

And this makes you ...
By: Chicken471Bologna. on 14 May 12, 19:28:08
And this makes you better how? That's what I though so just fuck off you stupid little 12 yr old faggot go back to sucking you daddys dick gay boy bitch.?

Now that i look at ...
By: lifesgoodpeep. on 14 May 12, 19:02:33
Now that i look at your history, i see that? you called me a faggot bitch, but you love Hillary Duff. You are one of the most hilarious fucking retards i have ever seen, and you aren't even trying.

Wow, your debating ...
By: lifesgoodpeep. on 14 May 12, 19:00:03
Wow, your debating skills are very good. I think i will lock myself in my room for 3 days to? think about what you just said, to try to find the meaning in your extremely intelligent statement. Thank you for changing the world with that original statement, you smart, smart, amazing, miracle worker. Your comment was so beautiful, i cried of joy.

Wow youtube can't ...
By: Maxpow33r. on 14 May 12, 15:27:08
Wow youtube can't take more than 2 levels of sarcasm ?

you're so dumb.. ...
By: maddogmatt44. on 14 May 12, 15:20:18
you're so dumb..watch the video, Anne? Frank!

FUCK OFF YOU ...
By: Chicken471Bologna. on 13 May 12, 02:41:32
FUCK OFF YOU STUPID? FAGGOT BITCH!!!!

When did I ever use ...
By: AntiChristAntiFail. on 12 May 12, 22:03:34
When did I ever use the word Obama? when did I ever speak out in his defense? Never. You are super-imposing assumptions onto me that are irrelevant and WRONG. You might want to stop guessing what people are thinking and try dealing with actual words. Regan was a fucking worthless cunt, and that is not in comparison to ANYONE. He was just? trash.

Try two term ...
By: Tezcatlepocatl. on 12 May 12, 21:56:06
Try two term governor of California, the most populous state, regardless of whether he was an actor before. Where did you get "educated" in order to get the idea drilled into your head that that is less qualification than being a half-term senator like Obama? Not that Reagan was the god some people make him out to be, but he was miles ahead of Obama when he was elected, and? he was a far better president. Crawl back under your rock.

When Ronald Regan, ...
By: AntiChristAntiFail. on 12 May 12, 21:33:34
When Ronald Regan, a fucking ACTOR was elected president, we already KNEW any? clown can get elected, you uneducated sack of shit.

You must be the ...
By: lifesgoodpeep. on 12 May 12, 20:00:48
You must be the most fucking retarded person i have ever seen on the internet. That? is a very hard title to get.

GO FUCK YOURSELF ...
By: Chicken471Bologna. on 12 May 12, 17:18:28
GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU STUPID JEWISH ZIONIST CUNT FAGGOT!!! HITLER SHOULD HAVE? FINISHED THE JOB ON YOUR STUPID WORHTLESS RACE.

not seeing how ...
By: SadisticReviews. on 12 May 12, 07:29:52
not seeing how Obama not being a governor is relevant. Can't tell if you are making an attempt to justifying Obama as being a joke president. He's going to have to? do a lot to top Bush.

Four American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 149 seconds

Autistic reporter Michael Falk reports it is bad that four U.S. soldiers died but it is good that nearly two dozen Taliban soldiers died. (Aired 10/18/11)
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Latest comments made on this video:

This is so fucking ...
By: Thor22289. on 26 May 12, 21:55:59
This is so fucking cute.?

I want to kill? ...
By: yourbodygaurd. on 25 May 12, 23:56:35
I want to kill? that guy

It's actually a ...
By: NLSJ. on 25 May 12, 23:21:22
It's actually a pretty good point. The soldiers are programmed to think of the "enemy" as if they were evil caricatures inhumane so do not feel bad when they kill someone's husband, someone's son or someone's father. So you see constantly in the news to people in the U.S. talking about how bad is the death of several thousand soldiers,? but little mention a hundred times that many civilians.

Captain obvious? ...
By: TheDarklord0211. on 25 May 12, 15:30:00
Captain obvious? strikes again.

omg? i love this guy
By: noname2useable. on 25 May 12, 08:59:23
omg? i love this guy

There you go. Thats ...
By: vertigo0331. on 24 May 12, 14:52:00
There you go. Thats the kind of attitude? thats going to bring us all together... Fuckhead...

On? the "yes/no" ...
By: Mlanding1. on 24 May 12, 12:50:55
On? the "yes/no" sadness board TEACHERS is left blank at the bottom!!!

who the hell ...
By: brianbrownb. on 24 May 12, 01:23:47
who the hell dislikes? these videos...

I will kill? an ...
By: countypolk863. on 23 May 12, 15:29:19
I will kill? an America terrorist

They're not really ...
By: MrNelsonButterscotch. on 22 May 12, 23:53:38
They're not really defending their homeland. Unless when the kill congressman, aid workers, voters, and crowded markets filled with people, then yeah, they're defending their homeland? from those things.

God do I love all ...
By: battousai12345. on 22 May 12, 07:43:48
God do I love all the sincere, and too-serious-to-take-this-as-a-frickin-joke? comments. Hear, hear to all you wing nuts.

1.It's my ...
By: stlkngyomom. on 22 May 12, 01:34:27
1.It's my preference,not opinion. 2.Beard is a facial hair,it has no volition of it's own and therefore can't? be awesome.Your statement makes no sense. 3.A bearded(hippie),makeup wearing(female or homosexual),women (chauvinist)and gays(repressed,self-hating homosexual)oppressing "man" is someone I do not wish to be associated with.Defending your homeland against all enemies,foreign and domestic needs not to be elaborated upon.

An airstrike killed ...
By: MetalSights. on 21 May 12, 02:24:12
An airstrike killed at least 2 insurgents on May 14. [1] At least 7 Taliban fighters killed May? 11-12. [2] [3] An insurgent was killed in a firefight on May 10. [4] 36 insurgents killed May 5. [5] At least 4 insurgents killed May 2. [6] [7] At least 25 militants died April-May 1 Go ahead. Go and be happy like you said, it'll be a blast. Probably a blast from a 2,000lb bomb vaporizing you, but still, a blast.

WHAT THE? FALK ...
By: khoid. on 19 May 12, 21:05:54
WHAT THE? FALK!?

Lol is we were ...
By: countypolk863. on 19 May 12, 17:00:39
Lol is we were all.taliban we all would? be happy lmao thats so true. Haha

Oh yes I totally ...
By: StalkingRainbow. on 18 May 12, 23:25:13
Oh yes I totally believe you. My brother is a killer too infact they call? him Jack the Ripper.

BRILLIANT! ?
By: RomeoCo. on 18 May 12, 07:35:20
BRILLIANT! ?

Michael Falk ...
By: Tezcatlepocatl. on 16 May 12, 23:51:00
Michael Falk doesn't have Asperger's. He's got full-blown? autism.

I think this is ...
By: HToothrot. on 16 May 12, 19:54:18
I think this is brilliant. Michael's inability to understand the emotional content? in news and confuse it with factual content which the news is supposed to deliver makes his character perfectly satirical. By 'misunderstanding' he shows the bullshit for what it is. Similar to the woman hit by a stray bullet story.

I think they? might ...
By: mandowarrior123. on 16 May 12, 02:13:49
I think they? might be conforming to American stereotypes.

Yeah, thats the ...
By: mandowarrior123. on 16 May 12, 02:12:56
Yeah, thats the point :)?

Don't quote me on ...
By: mandowarrior123. on 16 May 12, 02:11:13
Don't quote me on this but I heard he is really autistic? anyway, the autistic viewpoint your reaction, whether you are laughing at the reporter or the us troops presented here. This is one of the onions? more satirical pieces as it comments on the illogical nature of war. Similar in Sacha Baron Cohen's characters, including borat, which (in this case) social criticism of ideas developed in the US during the cold war are explored. To say the satire in borat is not subtle would be inaccurate.

This is their worst ...
By: Nancy99999. on 14 May 12, 14:41:24
This is their worst video because it lacks the subtlety and people will easily think it's fake because of that douchebag? acting like a retard. This is more like a spoof or something from Borat than real subtle satire (as seen in their previous videos).

You should probably ...
By: Welcome2KFC. on 14 May 12, 10:40:28
You should probably look into what the pros and cons really are of an American soldier before pretending you actually? know anything about it.

asdfghjkl;'?
By: marlenaandkamryn bobmarie. on 14 May 12, 02:03:24
asdfghjkl;'?

Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 64 seconds

After an earthquake renders hundreds of dogs homeless, reporter O'Brady Shaw pledges to put down every last animal himself. (Aired 10/18/11)
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Latest comments made on this video:

Let me kill you!?
By: Ctgaming7. on 27 May 12, 02:37:25
Let me kill you!?

lol i didnt know ...
By: ShadowSniper157. on 26 May 12, 17:52:31
lol i didnt know this was fake? till half way through the show T.T

I love onion news, ...
By: addalilirishtourgame. on 23 May 12, 19:55:06
I love onion news, but for you to say this is the? best solution and that it's true is, moronic. unless ur joking, which i have a feeling you're not.

haha? yeah!
By: colin Iandola. on 18 May 12, 21:37:04
haha? yeah!

Yeah! I saw that ...
By: DoctorMason. on 18 May 12, 18:46:34
Yeah! I saw that too! Believe it was? Alex Jones or somebody who exposed it, to warn us. Time for a preemptive strike or some other self-defense actions.

Yeah! Now count all ...
By: DoctorMason. on 18 May 12, 18:44:26
Yeah! Now count all the cash you can save and use for something? else.

What? proof can you ...
By: DoctorMason. on 18 May 12, 18:41:29
What? proof can you upload here, or what convincing evidence can you upload here, that makes us believe nobody but you are getting any?

Sounds like the ...
By: DoctorMason. on 18 May 12, 18:40:18
Sounds like the Gov't "We want to? help you".

It's better this ...
By: traingp7. on 18 May 12, 00:58:46
It's better this way. ? "that's what he said."

I watched this in ...
By: kakashi202. on 17 May 12, 23:10:27
I watched this in class? lolololololololonononlol

he? should help ...
By: eatmyfun. on 16 May 12, 21:31:52
he? should help some homeless humans next

hahaha you said ...
By: ZTM420. on 16 May 12, 18:12:48
hahaha you said solution?

Yeah! Ban ...
By: 7255202. on 14 May 12, 07:16:55
Yeah! Ban everything insulting! Our children need censors? and government guidance to tell them what is ok to post and watch.

Oh shut? up and ...
By: Nicoleisawesmazing. on 14 May 12, 07:01:06
Oh shut? up and enjoy the video.

This chanel is just ...
By: themcsanjans. on 13 May 12, 21:09:35
This chanel is just disgusting and should be banned? from youtube as it is very insulting.

Aww, they didn't ...
By: TheSaintTheo. on 12 May 12, 18:58:40
Aww, they didn't have to have the dog yelping? like that

its funny because ...
By: OmnipotentO. on 12 May 12, 01:56:36
its funny because they? do this in animal shelters all the time

your a fuckin? idiot
By: paulwall142. on 11 May 12, 19:57:14
your a fuckin? idiot

...
By: Hardstyleqt. on 11 May 12, 00:23:43
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.?

I wonder: how do ...
By: kingcole55. on 10 May 12, 21:33:27
I wonder: how do morons turn this into a religious debate? Answer: they think people are talking about religion in the first place. Nowhere did I say? I was Christian, and in no way was that sarcasm. I was being sincere when I said that I believed in the right of abortion.

161 people think ...
By: lemans24fan. on 10 May 12, 16:51:49
161 people think this is real? and dont have a sense of humor.

It's amazing.?
By: warior531. on 10 May 12, 15:38:56
It's amazing.?

lol every time the ...
By: GraffBONE123. on 10 May 12, 15:05:00
lol every time the dogs died,? my dogs looked at me.hahahaha

Shut up. how do ...
By: roflcopterkklol. on 10 May 12, 12:25:08
Shut up. how do morons such as yourself turn every topic into a religious debate? Now be quite while i pray to Horus for he is the true massiah. you never know i may be right, there are thousands of religions out? there and nothing says yours is correct except for a book written by men.

Is it bad if I ...
By: alphexhayate21. on 10 May 12, 00:59:48
Is it bad if I laughed at "LET ME? HELP YOU!"?

Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 156 seconds

Seeking to dispel accusations of flip-flopping, Romney unveiled plans to use a time machine to kill earlier versions of himself who believed in universal health care and gay rights.
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Latest comments made on this video:

LOL? redline under ...
By: Tyjohnable. on 25 May 12, 18:46:02
LOL? redline under tis

Tis not? a word, ...
By: snarfels. on 20 May 12, 21:27:39
Tis not? a word, tool.

Yeah but people who ...
By: AntiChristAntiFail. on 16 May 12, 23:38:33
Yeah but people who voted against obama were mostly just inbred retards with mobile? homes with broken axles.

Exactly.?
By: Chicken471Bologna. on 16 May 12, 02:45:19
Exactly.?

If he doesn't ...
By: mandowarrior123. on 16 May 12, 02:22:00
If he doesn't exist? in the present how will he go back and kill himself?

** RON? PAUL 2012 * ...
By: youroldsweetie. on 16 May 12, 00:54:13
** RON? PAUL 2012 *** America's ONLY? hope.

Ron Paul 2012 ...
By: VGTheater. on 14 May 12, 02:59:26
Ron Paul 2012 dont? vote for crimnial Romney or Obama,is like shitting on the constitution.

Yeah dude,? ...
By: shortpeoplecity. on 13 May 12, 23:59:05
Yeah dude,? Canada's fucking money

I love the text on ...
By: Tyjohnable. on 13 May 12, 04:13:41
I love the text on the bottom. "28 US? Presidents have been drunk for more than half their term in office" "Candidates courting only remaining small-business owner" "New abstinence education program focuses on how much sex hurts" "Low test scores threaten curfews of nations students" Something about Santorum needs a mercy killing Idono it was funny. ?

Than how come when ...
By: Tyjohnable. on 13 May 12, 03:52:42
Than how come when I type it there's no red line? under it?

You're right you ...
By: Tyjohnable. on 13 May 12, 03:49:03
You're right you have to drop the e? when you add the y :)

So he's going to ...
By: Chicken471Bologna. on 12 May 12, 17:51:01
So he's going to kill himself in the past. Which means he won't exist in the present. Hahahah fucking? moron.

Eh, Mitt Romney ...
By: wanderlustwarrior. on 12 May 12, 05:48:24
Eh, Mitt Romney isn't? a great guy, but he's not worth moving heaven and earth to kill.

2:13 Oh god! And I ...
By: pochopaz7381. on 11 May 12, 18:25:55
2:13 Oh god! And I thought our timeline was bad!?

Priceless!?
By: HannuMarijarvi. on 11 May 12, 12:30:26
Priceless!?

Hey Romney or Obama ...
By: grownman455. on 11 May 12, 00:09:55
Hey Romney or Obama it doesn't matter. The country? will continue in the same direction.. If voting really matter do you think they would allow the average guy to vote? haha Hey Canada is a nice choice and I happen to believe you because they did say that large amount of Americans are giving up their American citizenship and moving to other countries. They started back doing it in the Bush years. I had people tell me the smart thing to do is leave but I will just stick it out here .

Cool. Not? nearly ...
By: gumbymofugga. on 10 May 12, 10:25:27
Cool. Not? nearly as bad as using a nonexistent word.

"Not the? same ...
By: windows72. on 10 May 12, 08:37:06
"Not the? same thing" is a sentence fragment.

You used an actual? ...
By: gumbymofugga. on 10 May 12, 07:59:09
You used an actual? word very obviously incorrectly, I used a fake internet word. Not the same thing.

Douchey? is not a ...
By: windows72. on 10 May 12, 06:41:05
Douchey? is not a word.

5 days... is an old ...
By: gumbymofugga. on 10 May 12, 05:06:57
5 days... is an old comment? And when it's a douchey comment, yes I? will correct the stupid shit you say.

ha! i? knew that ...
By: beatlesrock188. on 10 May 12, 00:17:58
ha! i? knew that was gonna happen!!! but it was stil so funny

Do you go? around ...
By: windows72. on 09 May 12, 23:10:41
Do you go? around to old comments correcting grammar?

LOL ok kid. Obama ...
By: gumbymofugga. on 09 May 12, 21:43:16
LOL ok kid. Obama may be an immoral murderer,? but mitt romney is basically george w bush 2.0.

Stephen Strasburg Ceremoniously Re-Injures Arm On Opening Day
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 165 seconds

Doc and Kenny catch a case of bullet-breath as they pull the trigger on Stephen Strasburg's Opening Day ceremony, Kentucky's draft prospects, and the Charlotte Bobcat's first ever dunk.
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Latest comments made on this video:

Best episode,? yet. ...
By: Tressco. on 16 May 12, 09:42:24
Best episode,? yet...exhilarating cliffhanger...

"You don't expect ...
By: Ectharias. on 10 May 12, 02:06:58
"You don't expect an early death like that from a Harvard kid." jab at Ryan? Fitzpatrick?

loose lips and big ...
By: paddyoshea55. on 09 May 12, 20:00:26
loose lips and big clits!?

The? slide @ 0:36 " ...
By: 0Heavy0Metal0. on 29 Apr 12, 08:42:06
The? slide @ 0:36 "Cubs pay homage to Zambrano by not mentioning him" lol that is the friggin' truth! :-)

I know this is ...
By: gagaplex. on 26 Apr 12, 08:51:43
I know this is SUPPOSED to be friggin' loud and annoying because of the satire, but... DAMN, this is FRIGGIN' LOUD AND ANNOYING!!!?

What the fuck are ...
By: zzyzx0788. on 24 Apr 12, 20:20:49
What the fuck are you crying? about?

As a white guy, ...
By: n4thank0t. on 20 Apr 12, 00:15:28
As a white guy, this doesn't bother me?

tt?
By: Justin Lewis. on 19 Apr 12, 17:47:37
tt?

...
By: TheTruth006. on 19 Apr 12, 17:05:30
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

where's? my goomf ...
By: earthmonkey14. on 17 Apr 12, 22:04:17
where's? my goomf today?!?

John Wall requests ...
By: BukWiId. on 16 Apr 12, 16:38:54
John Wall requests trade? back to Kentucky...LOL

LMAO if only people ...
By: SoGOOD187. on 16 Apr 12, 07:34:38
LMAO if only people all of the people understand basketball that was fuckn? so funny I almost passed out LOL especially bobcats part

I miss the? old ...
By: selowe2011. on 16 Apr 12, 02:14:45
I miss the? old technical difficulties music.

1:45 And yet still ...
By: FireLightning16. on 15 Apr 12, 23:46:08
1:45 And yet still more fucking basketball >:(?

Might be fun for ...
By: Gunzah. on 15 Apr 12, 16:37:05
Might be fun for people who like sports.? Or to say that in another way. Might be fun for adults who chase a ball around when they are not chasing firetrucks.

...
By: cpi23. on 15 Apr 12, 06:54:52
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!?

"Loose lips empty ...
By: xxVampirePenguinxx. on 15 Apr 12, 01:27:18
"Loose lips empty clips"?

they misspelled? " ...
By: giles422. on 14 Apr 12, 23:21:11
they misspelled? "Linternment"

That was? the ...
By: kitsune720. on 14 Apr 12, 20:08:35
That was? the funniest sports news episode ever.

Goodnight? sweet ...
By: robertdejasse. on 14 Apr 12, 13:59:55
Goodnight? sweet prince

NOOOOOOOO!! Just ...
By: VinnyDaQ. on 14 Apr 12, 10:17:10
NOOOOOOOO!! Just when they were? about to replace "Pardon The Interruption" on ESPN !!

Aww... GOOMF? was ...
By: Lost77. on 14 Apr 12, 05:06:06
Aww... GOOMF? was my favorite sports newscast ever. The Onion always gets it spot on...

"Still more f*&king ...
By: chicanuck. on 14 Apr 12, 01:48:50
"Still more f*&king Basketball".....I love? Doc.....don't pull the trigger, Doc, we need your anger.

Oh well, we can get ...
By: Lorric101. on 14 Apr 12, 00:58:39
Oh well, we can get some new hosts now. I? was getting tired of those two anyway. A bit harsh the way they fire people on this show though.

$Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes \"A Trap\"$

Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes "A Trap"
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 121 seconds

Cross Examination host Shelby Cross shows women how to physically defeat their self-defense instructors. (Aired 10/18/11)
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Too right there... ...
By: trescodavidemes. on 25 May 12, 07:57:31
Too right there...I? wouldn't be surprised if this was meant to be a parallel of that!

just buy? a gun
By: InsanePickle007. on 23 May 12, 19:39:11
just buy? a gun

do me a favor and ...
By: mrtinnbenn. on 23 May 12, 15:34:32
do me a favor and shut that yap hole in your face you? inbred

you? mother kant
By: mrtinnbenn. on 23 May 12, 15:33:35
you? mother kant

This is who I image ...
By: ultrabeing1. on 21 May 12, 11:30:11
This is who I image would? be Cave Johnsons wife

One must be from ...
By: VTVSD. on 21 May 12, 02:17:46
One must be from Texas to understand the pride. But enough of this. ? This debate is no longer productive or interesting to me. On with the self defense searches.

Um...ok. Well...tho ...
By: Abs Brooks. on 21 May 12, 01:36:35
Um...ok. Well...tho I found? this amusing, I was actually looking for a REAL self defense technique video...

Well English is not ...
By: Tyjohnable. on 19 May 12, 13:40:57
Well English is not equated only with America (only in your head) and the only reason American is interchangeable with U.S is because it's part of the name. Also how the fuck could anyone be proud of Texas anymore? My Dog they had the fourth president (and writer of? the D.O.I) removed from the history books cause they didn't like his beliefs.

I speak in terms of ...
By: VTVSD. on 17 May 12, 03:25:32
I speak in terms of today. Say what you will, the USA leads the world. I don't pretend that it's always right, but we lead none the less. English is spoken all over the world yet it is always equated with the America. And for that matter, American is always globally interchanged with...the United States. In fact, you did that yourself above. Truth be told, the Brit's English sounds so much more eloguent than ours.? May God Bless you. -- VTV

Time will tell. But ...
By: mandowarrior123. on 16 May 12, 04:08:47
Time will tell. But hopefully this is just the early stages and the US can bring the future for? years to come. Time will tell!

Who can't love? " ...
By: VTVSD. on 16 May 12, 03:49:13
Who can't love? "the Holy hand grenade of Antioch..."

We can debate this ...
By: VTVSD. on 16 May 12, 03:47:34
We can debate this topic to death. The end result remains the same in my opinion.... Bomba and Tsars faded into oblivion, Greece fell, er twice now..., Britain...ah fair Britain. Nothing ill to say about the Brits. France - keep your snails thank you. Nevertheless, the United States remains the leader of the world proper - Present leadership notwithstanding....November can't? come quickly enough. No, you were not harsh. Debate is good.

If you mean ...
By: mandowarrior123. on 16 May 12, 02:46:19
If you mean physical impact, the Russian Tsar Bomba, if you mean technological, greece was 1500 years in advance of anyone else, and Britain invented steam power, industry, and computers and just about everything you can? imagine, from fiddly geary bits to things that make your loo work. France isnt far behind, with great contributions from mechanical calculator to automobiles, photography, not to mention art, France and italy and so on. Sorry did you mention a country? OK i was a little harsh :)

Really? Those other ...
By: Tyjohnable. on 16 May 12, 01:38:49
Really? Those other nations colonized the all of North and South America. Do you speak American or English? Also who is this God? character everyone on the internet keeps talking about?

What about them? ...
By: VTVSD. on 14 May 12, 01:37:11
What about them? Throughout history, all have made their contributions to the world and the world is sometimes better for it, but none can compare to the impact? that our nation has made on the historical destiny of the world. As the USA goes, so does the world. And it will remain so until God removes his hand from this nation.

This is a? bit like ...
By: Cytacon. on 13 May 12, 06:09:25
This is a? bit like when we invaded Iraq.

What about the ...
By: Tyjohnable. on 13 May 12, 04:22:41
What about the British,? Spanish or French?

That was already ...
By: Tyjohnable. on 13 May 12, 04:19:46
That was already implied but thanks for making it? less funny now.?

Ouch, that's? sick ...
By: HannuMarijarvi. on 11 May 12, 12:36:03
Ouch, that's? sick to watch.

"...? with a ...
By: asteroidrules. on 10 May 12, 01:34:39
"...? with a baseball bat".

I have lived in ...
By: VTVSD. on 10 May 12, 00:27:30
I have lived in other countries. Loved the cultures, and the food. But I am quite satisfied with being and American. A Texan at that. But to each his own... I always say. Just? remember this, whatever is said about the U.S.A., good or bad. It is this country that has had and made the greatest impact on the globe. No other nation in history can make that claim. Not the Greeks, or the Romans. Say what you will about us, that's fine. But threaten us and we'll DRONE ya. Ha!

I appreciate your ...
By: Scottyphoenix42. on 09 May 12, 13:23:08
I appreciate your sense of humour - it's just sad you let that intelligence go to waste by being ignorant and jingoistic - dude, lighten up... (if I'm a hippy, I might as well do? it properly).

Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 162 seconds

Jim Haggerty helps to raise awareness about kidney stones by undergoing an operation in front of cameras.
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Related: the onion, comedy, satire, news, onion news network, onn

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Latest comments made on this video:

i bet you guys ...
By: kingrooshrankedinmw2. on 24 May 12, 23:05:14
i bet you guys didnt know Jim is a reporter on the movie? "I Am Legend"

Simple surgery with ...
By: SageZane560. on 24 May 12, 04:21:34
Simple surgery with almost? 100% success rate.

20 ppl have kidney? ...
By: Jose T Puello. on 04 May 12, 06:58:58
20 ppl have kidney? stones lol

that wont fit LOL?
By: stayinfly82. on 02 May 12, 06:03:55
that wont fit LOL?

I? liked the part ...
By: bobofloblaws. on 01 May 12, 14:36:18
I? liked the part where they had no sympathy for his pain.

Passing kidney ...
By: Kamehamayhem. on 01 May 12, 00:38:33
Passing kidney stones probably hurts more than? giving birth.

"Gonna have to ...
By: JoshEinstein. on 29 Apr 12, 18:36:55
"Gonna have to start a college fund for that one, Jim." "FUCK YOU, ATKA! I'M GONNA? FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"

This? hurts my ...
By: dedem1315. on 27 Apr 12, 11:32:31
This? hurts my penis to watch.

Jesus that stone ...
By: SuperWarking. on 27 Apr 12, 00:36:06
Jesus that stone was fuckin huge! I want one? :(

Yeah,? me too. I ...
By: 0Heavy0Metal0. on 25 Apr 12, 14:53:42
Yeah,? me too. I passed one last year that had a "hook" on it, it tore me up. They had me on this synthetic heroin that is 10x stronger than morphine (hydromorphone, or the brand name Dilaudid) and it still did not come close to blocking the pain. Brutal pain, just brutal. I feinted three or four times. Just could not handle it. Seeing this brings it all back. I feel your pain...

Loooooooool?
By: TheBigStupidHead. on 25 Apr 12, 05:00:23
Loooooooool?

JUST GIVE HIM? SOME ...
By: TheDaveKD. on 25 Apr 12, 00:40:56
JUST GIVE HIM? SOME FUCKING ANASTHAETIC!

my sides? are ...
By: wdfrider. on 25 Apr 12, 00:11:54
my sides? are mother-fuking killing me

As someone who has? ...
By: jackalmereel. on 24 Apr 12, 02:47:49
As someone who has? had 2 kidneystones in the last 8 months this hurts to watch.

my dick? is killing ...
By: djtrixen. on 21 Apr 12, 07:59:37
my dick? is killing me!

Jim's an amazing ...
By: isveryniceyes. on 20 Apr 12, 16:50:53
Jim's an amazing actor!?

I don't see ads? ...
By: Celephaith. on 17 Apr 12, 21:31:19
I don't see ads? anymore because of google adblocker.

I'm not a ...
By: Brian112891. on 16 Apr 12, 22:10:34
I'm not a Republican by any means and I saw a Romney commercial before this video.? :-X

I couldn't watch it ...
By: ruvald. on 15 Apr 12, 16:00:18
I couldn't watch it to the end. ? A strange combination of laughing too hard and feeling his pain.

those commercials ...
By: nerdyharry. on 15 Apr 12, 04:06:23
those commercials seem less about getting you to take interest in mormonism, more about letting you know that black and south asian men don't feel demeaned by joining a religion that teaches they bear the curse of ham, so long as they got some of that fine mormon pussy. just visit? some top forties music videos and classic funk and hip-hop and it should start showing you other ads.

I really wanted to ...
By: jbear0000. on 15 Apr 12, 03:15:36
I really wanted to see him cheering up? the children.

Way to get preachy ...
By: AltruisticAlbatross. on 14 Apr 12, 20:20:21
Way to get preachy over? an innocuous comment.

"So, kidney? stone ...
By: shaktiIIIgta. on 14 Apr 12, 07:30:40
"So, kidney? stone is not an appropriate subject for humour," says who ? the people that miraculously get those... LOL !

The comments on ...
By: Firewalkerbg. on 13 Apr 12, 22:18:09
The comments on this video are actually more amusing? than the video itself :D

Well if you excuse ...
By: theoblivian7. on 13 Apr 12, 21:07:10
Well if you excuse me I am going to drink a? couple gallons of water

After 1 Week In New York Tim Tebow Already A Gay, Homeless Crack Addict
Posted by: TheOnion

Video duration: 161 seconds

Tim Tebow has fallen into sin, Tiger Woods is adequate again, and the Mets are questionable for opening day, but Doc Brooks and Kenny Kennedy still hate each other. It's GOOMF!

Related: the onion, comedy, satire, news, onion news network, onn, tim tebow, denver broncos, new york mets, goomf, get out of my face

Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment

Latest comments made on this video:

"YOU'RE JUST SAYING ...
By: Mr90POOP. on 19 May 12, 02:42:06
"YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE TO LAZY TO BUILD A? TREE.."

1:32 Chris bosh is ...
By: MasakoHQ. on 07 May 12, 03:55:09
1:32 Chris bosh is to star in space Jam remake as alien. I completely fucking lost? it.

Why do people ...
By: EmperorEmpanada. on 02 May 12, 02:14:59
Why do people watch? ESPN?

I'm off to build a? ...
By: SteakGeneral. on 01 May 12, 05:23:08
I'm off to build a? tree, fuck biological fact.

I DEMAND more of? ...
By: WhiteyMcKrackerHonke. on 26 Apr 12, 20:31:32
I DEMAND more of? these vidoes

braves fans excited ...
By: eatmyfun. on 26 Apr 12, 05:01:29
braves fans excited about prospect of chipper not playing ftw?

*Yaomingface* Bitch ...
By: NickyAmerica. on 22 Apr 12, 06:04:43
*Yaomingface* Bitch please, if he? went to San Francisco, that would all happen in one hour on a saturday night.

I just got a half ...
By: Buzz0Killington. on 21 Apr 12, 00:11:41
I just got a half and half from Tebow? in an alley behind a McDonald's.

1:30 CHRIS? BOSH ...
By: 420Killuminati420. on 20 Apr 12, 15:24:05
1:30 CHRIS? BOSH SET TO STAR IN SPACE JAM REMAKE AS ALIEN LOLOLOL

LOUD? NOISES!!!
By: JonyBaez. on 20 Apr 12, 08:28:23
LOUD? NOISES!!!

2:18 It's? oveeerr! ...
By: alexbc7493. on 19 Apr 12, 17:39:02
2:18 It's? oveeerr!!!

@stgm I mean, he's ...
By: CaptainLumpyDog. on 19 Apr 12, 02:44:02
@stgm I mean, he's a nice enough guy. In fact a really nice guy. I just? can't stand the privileges showered upon college athletes, so I don't go bragging about knowing them. Professors I've studied under? Now that's a different story entirely. I'm proud to have studied under three presidents of the History of Science Society and claim my place as the last History of Science major at UF. These are the people and deeds I tell others about.

It's because he was ...
By: stgm. on 19 Apr 12, 02:37:31
It's because he was probably a? complete dullard, right?

Hehe apologies for ...
By: TheEskimosPantry. on 18 Apr 12, 19:45:47
Hehe apologies for my blatant xenophobia but that is how 80% of Americans sound to? Europeans ears :). I just thought you guys should know.

The guy who plays? ...
By: linkingisnonsense. on 18 Apr 12, 04:44:40
The guy who plays? Doc REALLY nailed that "When it's over, it's OVER!" Line. Great work guys.

hahhahah decent ...
By: mmafinatic. on 16 Apr 12, 19:14:04
hahhahah decent breasts n ugly faces... my? exact drunk type!

@kimnc28 Big whoop ...
By: CaptainLumpyDog. on 16 Apr 12, 07:29:05
@kimnc28 Big whoop. You met Timmy twice? I? went to school with him. You don't see me bragging about it...

This better not be? ...
By: WhiteyMcKrackerHonke. on 15 Apr 12, 19:41:29
This better not be? the last episode.

Im a? met fan... ...
By: darobs10. on 14 Apr 12, 04:25:42
Im a? met fan... Good thing they didnt retire

"Science helps? ...
By: ixonixas. on 13 Apr 12, 13:38:03
"Science helps? explain things" NO SHIT!

DONT TELL ME HOW TO ...
By: nicknackrap. on 13 Apr 12, 01:56:20
DONT TELL ME HOW TO DIE I KNOW HOW TO DIE? BELIEVE IT.

-Vomited while ...
By: BeranM. on 13 Apr 12, 01:25:24
-Vomited while removing penis from two buildings it was stuck between. hahaha,? WTF?

OH? SHIT! THE END ...
By: TheIr0nMike. on 12 Apr 12, 17:45:50
OH? SHIT! THE END WAS AN ALLUSION TO THE NEXT GOOMF!!!!!

I don't know what ...
By: MinisterAilingTongue. on 12 Apr 12, 06:00:23
I don't know what the hell just? happened...

FUCK THE? NDP
By: Sch4ffty. on 12 Apr 12, 02:52:51
FUCK THE? NDP

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